my resume.
1995-1999 – Student, Orchard Park High School, Orchard Park, NY
-Graduated in June 1999 with official New York State Board of Regents Diploma.
-Decided that it would be in my best interests to move to Las Vegas and party for several years in lieu of college. I was pretty bloody stupid when I was 17.
-Decided that it would be in my best interests to move to Las Vegas and party for several years in lieu of college. I was pretty bloody stupid when I was 17.
2000-2004 – A Series of Dead-End and Temp Jobs, Las Vegas, NV
-Accomplished absolutely nothing.
-Complete waste of a good four or so years of my life.
-Got evicted in 2004, had to move back home to New York. Mom said “Join the military or become homeless.” I joined the military.
-Complete waste of a good four or so years of my life.
-Got evicted in 2004, had to move back home to New York. Mom said “Join the military or become homeless.” I joined the military.
2004-2006 – United States Navy
-Spent entire Navy career stationed on an Army base in Maryland. Go figure.
-I did get the chance to tour the National Security Administration, which was cool. Even got to see that machine that can listen in on any cell phone call in the world. Yes, that actually exists. Know what they do with it? They spin the dials around until they find someone who’s having phone sex, then they all listen to it and laugh. Gotta love the government.
-Didn’t really like the military, but two years of having my head forcibly removed from my derriere, where it had been stuck firmly since high school, was probably just what I needed.
-Unfortunately, Navy career was tragically cut short by a near-fatal car accident, which resulted in Honorable Discharge. Back to dead-end jobs I went.
-I did get the chance to tour the National Security Administration, which was cool. Even got to see that machine that can listen in on any cell phone call in the world. Yes, that actually exists. Know what they do with it? They spin the dials around until they find someone who’s having phone sex, then they all listen to it and laugh. Gotta love the government.
-Didn’t really like the military, but two years of having my head forcibly removed from my derriere, where it had been stuck firmly since high school, was probably just what I needed.
-Unfortunately, Navy career was tragically cut short by a near-fatal car accident, which resulted in Honorable Discharge. Back to dead-end jobs I went.
2006-2008 - Blockbuster, Dallas, TX
-So how did I get from Maryland to Dallas? Don’t ask.
-Got a job as a shift manager at Blockbuster. Held it for two years, setting a record for myself.
-However, one of my fellow shift managers didn’t like me very much, so she gave her passwords to several other associates and told them to steal out of the drawers whenever I was running shift, so I would get fired. It worked.
-Getting fired, though, was probably the best thing that ever happened to me, because that’s what convinced me to go back to college full-time.
-Got a job as a shift manager at Blockbuster. Held it for two years, setting a record for myself.
-However, one of my fellow shift managers didn’t like me very much, so she gave her passwords to several other associates and told them to steal out of the drawers whenever I was running shift, so I would get fired. It worked.
-Getting fired, though, was probably the best thing that ever happened to me, because that’s what convinced me to go back to college full-time.
2009-Present - UNT, Denton, TX/Micro Center, Dallas, TX
-So now I’m going to UNT full time while working at Micro Center part-time selling computers.
-I’ve got about 1 or 2 years left before I graduate and become a teacher.
-Hopefully I can tolerate two more years of retail sales.
-I’ve got about 1 or 2 years left before I graduate and become a teacher.
-Hopefully I can tolerate two more years of retail sales.